Skip to content

Posts tagged ‘work’

152. Quitting your job

Giving an official notice to leave something is awkward. How do you tell your awesome manager that you’re leaving? It feels like breaking up, and they never expect it.

I’ve quit jobs by both on the spot, and with adequate notice. Few have felt nice, but some have been really bad to leave. You’d be surprised!


I quit working at a fast food restaurant by giving my two week notice, and without any sign of me leaving. I had gotten a little award thing for saying my lines and behaving properly when customers would get pissed. When I told my manager, I felt horrible for creating the trouble of finding a new person to cover, since the whole hiring process kinda sucks for hiring managers. He looked at me, and I told him I left my letter on his desk. It didn’t feel all satisfying, like people usually say it feels like.


I worked at the office of a huge douche lawyer, and as soon as I got my check (no lag time), I left. I also left the reports that he wanted ready for him on his desk, sorted by alphabetical order, and to a really high level of detail. When I didn’t return, he called me, and I didn’t answer. He was a pretty screwed up guy. That actually felt really cool.

But how do you work at a place that has your two-weeks notice already? Isn’t it weird? Do you have any awesome quitting stories?



5 Email Signatures and What They Really Mean

Even though email may seem like extremely old-fashioned nowadays, I do it often. Like actual correspondence-type emails. Yes. That happens.

Sometimes I’m responding back to customer’s questions, and other times I’m reading awkward stories that you guys share with me via email. My first experience using Outlook in a job setting was in Colorado back in 2009, where the world of Microsoft Office opened up a brand new window to office gossip and the path to the long chain of people you have to go through in order to get access to the software essential to doing the job I was hired to do. As an observant of the awkward and the unnoticed, I started taking note of the email signatures these people would use. In a land of engineers with support from HR, IT, law, accountants, and tech guys.. they were easy to differentiate.

Take a look at the types of email signatures these people would send:

Human Resources


Marie Escalade
Human Resources
(555) 198-9213- extension 124

Information and Technology

Myriam Delao
(555) 143-9123 -ext 2

Law Department


Bill McCormick
Chief Coordinator of Internal Operations & Executive Trainee
Department of Law and Engineering Support
Office: (555) 876-1234
Fax: (555) 213-1231
E-mail: bill

If you believe this email was sent to you in error, please delete immediately and notify the sender.




Thank you,

James Blunder
(555) 123-1245 ext- 3

And then I started noticing the signatures other people send, and dude.. some of them just make me want to invent a virus that would make a hand come out of the screen and slap somebody.

Here are some slightly modified [to make my point] email signatures found around the internet.

1. The Overachiever Student Who Thinks He’s a Professional


Bogdan Emerson
President 2012-2013
Envirocool Organization
Hazing Chairman of Kappa Jau Fraternity, Inc.
Cell: 555-412-1234

What you’re really saying: I am the coolest guy on campus and you need to know that. The top companies don’t want me but I don’t know that yet.
2. The Funny Guy

Thanks pal,

Geoffrey “Karate Kid” Nelson
Smoke ring signals: Puff, puff, hold… puff, puff, hold, cloud.
Ok but seriously, cell phone: (911) 134-9421

What you’re really saying: I am hilarious, laugh at me. Alright, you can stop now. It isn’t funny anymore, stop. #AntiBullying

3. I’m Green, and You Must Know It

With kind regards,

Christine Skye

Please be considerate of the environment before printing this email. 

What you’re really saying: I annoy my friends, and secretly still buy bottled water.

4. The Success

Thanks a lot, bud.
Max Le’Gitneo

Senior Planning Vice-President of DaCool Co. & Media Conglomerate, Corp.
Office: (555) 123-1234
Cell: (555) 123-1252
Office 234-A

Disclaimer: All information contained in this email is intended for single use only and only to the person listed on this email and is subject to inspection by our security guard, Hank, at any moment if any suspicious activities arise. You may not distribute, copy, email, forward, modify, or read this email at coffee shops or diners. All opinions expressed in this email are not representative of DaCool Co & Media Conglomerate, Corp, but any good ideas arising from such emails are copyrighted by said company and can be used for profit without providing any royalties. The sender is not responsible for any accidental damage caused by this email, including but not limited to: choking, explosions, weight gain, or deep depression. 

What you’re really saying: Bow down to me. I am the douche who emails you with this account to ask you about the status of my toilet paper on eBay.

5. The Philosopher and Prophet

Spiritually with you,

John Everest

Thoughts arise in the midsts of the early dawn, upon which the sun kisses the earth and greets the children of the earth.

What you’re really saying: I like to read quotes and demonstrate my spirituality even though I got in a fight with the guy in front of me while waiting in line at McDonald’s today.

What does your email signature say?



English: email envelope

English: email envelope (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When someone’s card declines, and you don’t know how to tell them

English: Logo of Target, US-based retail chain

English: Logo of Target, US-based retail chain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I like those machines that you find at Target, or Vons/Safeway.. or large retailer places that have the screen for you to swipe your own card, see your total, ask for your signature.. and it even asks if you want cash back. They are super awesome, because in case my card declines, only I will know.

I always thought it was just awkward for the person whose card declined, but once I became a cashier, I discovered how awkward it is for the person telling you so. Here’s how it usually goes:

The customer comes in, purchases something and gives you the card. You swipe it and suddenly you get this message: Error, Card Declined.



So you swipe it again.. acting like you’re having trouble with it, while hoping that the person will realize on their own that they have insufficient funds and will ask you to try another card.


You act confused, and make it obvious that the card is not working and they look at you with the look of shame, almost like when you get home to your dog taking the stuffing out of your couch cushions. You must break the news. There is just no other way.

“I’m sorry sir, your card declined.”


I said that a few times and I felt like the worst person ever! So I worked out a technique:

“Hmm, this card isn’t working.. I wonder what happened.”

or I ask,

“Has this card been giving you trouble elsewhere?”

What makes it even more awkward is when you’re a server at a place and you must tell the person in front of the other members of their table that the card declined, or when the guy is trying to look like a big shot in front of his date and his card won’t help him out.

Has anyone else there been in this situation? How would you tell them?

%d bloggers like this: