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Posts tagged ‘noises’

68. Farting in front of your partner for the first time

You know, starting a new relationship means having to learn how to fart silently once again. Read more

55. When you can hear people doing it

It is late at night, and you are finally getting ready to go to sleep. For two nights in a row, you’ve been awakened at night by a tapping noise coming from the apartment next to yours but cannot identify it in your half-asleep state –but not tonight. Tonight you will sleep like a baby. Teeth brushed, pajamas ready, and the alarm is set. You’ve been waiting for this moment all day. Suddenly you hear something. What? A song, a soft jazzy tune coming from your neighbor’s place. A voice begins to sing, and you can recognize it. Oh yes, you know this song:

I’ve been really tryin’ baby
Tryin’ to hold back this feeling for so long. . .

This late? Why would anyone be playing a song at this –Oh. Oh no.

. . . Let’s get it on, sugar
Let’s get it on
Whoo, ooh, ooh . . .

And there they go.

Whether the sound is coming from the apartment next door, or from the floor above yours, such a situation is just plain uncomfortable. What makes matters worse is that if it happens every night, you eventually start to become familiar with the sequence. Either a soft tapping noise that gets louder and louder, loud noises and a lot of squeaking, or it could happen like just like the above scenario. You’ll know the pattern, duration, intensity, etc. If you ever have overnight guests, and they’re about to complain about it, you might even tell them,

“Oh, don’t worry, they’ll be done in about 3 and a half more minutes.”

“How do you know?” they’ll ask.

“Uh. . .”

But what are you supposed to do? You can ask them to stop, ask them to keep it down, or let them be. Asking them to stop or keep it down is pretty awkward (and it isn’t very nice), but if you let them be, they won’t know that anybody can hear them and they will keep going at it for a while. Decisions, decisions.

. . . Just let yourself go
Oh, baby
Let’s get it on . . .

(Song: Let’s Get It On, Marvin Gaye)

30. Making people repeat themselves

I’ve found myself in situations where I absolutely cannot hear what a person is saying, whether it is because they have a thick accent, or if they’re speaking too fast, it can sometimes be uncomfortable to ask them to repeat themselves a third time.

Sometimes people ask “what did you say?” even if they have already understood you, just for the heck of it. Actually that’s pretty awkward itself. I’ve stayed quiet before when people ask “What?” and they just end up answering the question that they “didn’t hear”. This post is about that awkward feeling when you can’t understand somebody, and ask them to repeat themselves over and over. Eventually the other person begins to wonder if you have a hearing problem, or if they have a speaking problem and are coming off as a weirdo.

I used to work answering and re-directing phone calls in an office, and sometimes I’d get people with thick accents that I could barely understand. I would ask them to repeat themselves up to three times and then deal with them raising their voices and saying a bunch of things to me (which thankfully, I still didn’t understand). Angry people..

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