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Posts tagged ‘jokes’

19 Ways To Make It Awkward

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair  Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Sexual Favors”

7. Finish All Your Sentences With “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”

8. Don’t Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party because You’re Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling

“Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

154. Looking at your drop of spit fly through the air as you’re talking

Some people are notorious for spitting when they speak. I notice every single one of those occasions. Someone is showing you how to correct the formula on your Excel file, and then suddenly, they stop, wipe their mouth, and then a tiny drop of spit from your screen that has since been illuminated by a rainbow of colorful pixels from your monitor.


Most of the time people pretend to not notice it, but I only do that if the other person does it while we’re eating. I just really do it for my own sake, I don’t want to imagine that tiny foamy droplet flying into my mashed potatoes, even though the chef was probably singing to some Mexican music and spitting to his heart’s content back in the kitchen.

See? I’m better off not knowing.

What do you do in those situations?

Awkward Moments of 2012

Awkward Moments of 2012

Well, the awkward year is ending and soon we will have to get used to writing “2013” when entering in a date, after getting used to the whole “2012” thing. If you search for any events that happened in 2012, you’ll likely find some bad ones. Let us set those aside for a minute as we look for the good, funny, and weird stuff of this year. What were some of the awkward moments of 2012? 

Around the Internet

The SOPA Protests

People LOVE their internet. How much? Well upon being threatened by possible internet laws that would ruin this whole free-for-all, “wild west,” thing we have going with the internet today, even though they claimed it was just against internet piracy, the big internet tech companies said NO THANK YOU and protested on the internet. The laws would require a ton of money and add a bunch of restrictions to the creation of things. You guys have blogs, right? You know what I mean. So, they created an internet blackout. Wikipedia, Reddit, the Lolcats and many others raised awareness by letting us see what life would be without them. The lawmakers, upon not being able to get their daily dose of icanhazcheezburger, said “Ok! We get it!” and went back to their drawing boards to come up with a way to approach us again without pissing us off this time.

Facebook’s “Read” Feature

Yup, so this happened. Facebook made things awkward by letting us see if the person we just messaged is ignoring us. C’mon, you know you’ve done it. “That guy” you’ve been talking to sends you a message and you don’t want to appear desperate so you ignore the message for a few hours or days before getting back to him. Well now he knows. Oh and thought you could get away with ignoring a post by one of the members of a Facebook group? Yeah… that’s gone. Facebook now shows who read it. Some may say that Facebook has too much power, but do they really? I mean, they only have your birthday information, cell phone number, address, knows your work place, a list of everyone you talk to, records of chats, can detect your face in photographs, sells general information, knows your likes and dislikes, tries to make you friends with your ex again, asks for your credit card information, knows where you are, and what you eat. That’s it. That’s all they know! No biggie.

YouTube’s Viral Videos

We all saw history being made with Gangnam Style with about 1.05 billion views! Psy, a South-Korean pop singer with the dance that looks like he’s riding a horse. My favorite part includes that one guy with the hat in the elevator. Mashable has created a list of the Top 10 Most Viral Videos of 2012 which is also worth a visit if you’re into the whole video thing.

The KONY 2012 Thing Backfired


Source: TMZ

What was it? It was a campaign and movement to raise awareness about Joseph Kony and his abductions for his army in Uganda in order to get people and the government to do something that had been going on for three-decades. So they did raise awareness, and the campaign didn’t really backfire.. but some people around the internet like to think so. Such a nice cause was tainted when Jason Russell (the guy behind the whole thing) flipped out. He was walking around San Diego intoxicated and well, had some psychological issues. He was just walking around naked letting it all hang out. That was awkward, dude. Then a bunch of people started talking about the video and coming up with their own reasons why the video was wrong, or how it was narrow minded and was even considered a bit racist among all these other things. People were saying that the video made the problem seem too simple to fix and that wasn’t really the case. Since then, the KONY 2012 campaign from Invisible Children has released more information and explanations about the whole thing.

On The News

NBC Delaying the 2012 Olympics

People were pissed! In order to find out who had won some of the events, we had to go online and watch them live on there. Hello, NBC.. we have something called The Internet and we do not want to be the last ones to find out the score on the most important sports event in THE WORLD. In the network’s defense, they are allowed to do so in order to improve their ratings. Not many people are going to be up late at night watching pole vaulting. They are also allowed to edit the opening ceremonies. Also to edit anything want before the show the public. Britain was all all like HELL NO when they found that NBC edited out the tribute during the opening ceremony for the victims of the bombing in 2005. You can read more about it here.


In short, here are the things buzzing around the celeb world that got awkward: Miley Cyrus’ haircut, Taylor Swift dating more guys and getting heartbroken (yay, more songs!), Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez breaking up and making up then breaking up again. In other news, Prince Harry and Kate Middleton’s naked pictures (not at the same time) came out. Paparazzis caught her in a private place she was staying, and they found Prince Harry’s photos of him partying somewhere in Las Vegas? I’m not too sure on this.. I don’t keep up with the celeb world.  I will not post those pictures up here, but I’m sure they’re out there somewhere. That stuff is always awkward.

The Mayan Prophecy –We’re not dead.

mayanThat was awkward. 12/21/2012 was supposed to be the day where some planet was gonna hit the Earth, or zombies were going to come out of the ground, or God would come and take his people. Maybe something else was supposed to happen? People all over the place were freaking out and legitimately believing that the world was going to end. They posted pictures of themselves eating their last meals, and holding hands with their loved ones, oh man.. I feel kind of bad talking about this now. Anywho, the world didn’t end, and we woke up the next day wondering if we were dead. Wait, was it just me? It would’ve sucked if it ended though.

A long time ago, the Mayans were hanging around the Earth looking up at the stars. I’m pretty sure we would all do the same thing if electrification had never happened. Those were good times, man. They were amazing record-keepers and found out many things about the stars.. and 12/21/2012 is supposed to be the start of a new era. So Happy New Era everybody!


The U.S. Presidential Election

mittIt was sad and funny and awkward all at the same time. People were picking on Mitt Romney for bringing up his binders full of women, for his app having “Amercia” instead of America, for his big bird reference, and for his 5-point tax plan:

  1. Slide to the right
  2. Slide to left
  3. Left foot let’s stomp
  4. Take it back now y’all
  5. Cha cha real smooth

I’m not proud guys. We pretty much bullied a presidential candidate here in the U.S. I guess that goes along with the world’s stereotypes about Americans. It was definitely an awkward experience for all of us. We all watched the presidential debates, and the vice-presidential debates.. sweaty people, awkward moments, and new jokes and memes for us all!

Fast Food Takes a Stand on Politics

chick-fil-a-awkward-gayOnly in the United States, friends, only in the United States.. Do you guys remember the post on Chick Fil-A? Here’s how it went: Chick Fil-A was donating money for campaigns trying to stop same-sex marriage, and people found out. So again, people were angry and got together to boycott Chick Fil-A and organized a kiss-in. Gay people would show up, take a picture kissing and submit it to Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. Read about it from the New York Times!

Did we forget that Chick Fil-A is a fast food chain? They sell chicken sandwiches. They stand their ground with their views of “the biblical idea” of marriage. They.. ugh! It doesn’t matter, people. They sell fast food!

Only in America would a fast food chain have a huge voice on controversial topics like these.

It HAS Been One Awkward Year

Can you believe it has been another year already? Einstein was right on this whole, “time moves at different speeds” thing. Think of all the things you have accomplished and all of the things that good people around the world have been doing for others. The world isn’t so bad.

Thank you guys for keeping up with me and this blog, lots of things have changed around here in just one year.. and from what I read, lots has changed with you as well. I will see you all next year!

Oh and I almost forgot, for all of you who like looking at the search terms people use to reach your blog, check out what people have googled this year on Google’s Zeitgeist Video:

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