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Posts tagged ‘date’

68. Farting in front of your partner for the first time

You know, starting a new relationship means having to learn how to fart silently once again. Read more

58. Saying something at the same time

Here is the scenario:

You’re at a sushi bar with a couple of friends, enjoying the raw fish, rice and all the other cool stuff you can find at a place like that. After a while, the conversation dies down a little which hints that a change of topic is necessary. Certain people are better at it than others, because some people just have interesting things to talk about. Well what if there are two interesting people at the table that notice the sudden death of a conversation and want bring forth a new one?

That’s you. YOU are one of the interesting, awesome people. And suddenly you want to talk about how your car broke down and the mechanic messed it up even more. But your friend wants to talk about his ex-girlfriend going out with his brother now. Here’s what it would sound like:

So I can’t believe freakin’ mechanic she’s going out with made it worse with my brother!”

Whatta what?!

That’s right. Yup. Sometimes people just keep talking even though another person is talking. But who can blame them? There is no talking right-of-way rule listed anywhere.

And other times, neither of them wants to talk! Suddenly the battle of you-go begins:

So I can’t believe freakin— oh.”

“You go,”

“No, you go. I was going to say something dumb.”

“Well I forgot what I was going to say anyway.”

Great, so neither of them will say anything. And, we’re back to square one. Both people might turn away and leave you with a dead conversation. Once more.


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48. Asking a non-pregnant woman when the baby is due

Yes, it happens.

Definitely one of the lesser known ones, yet carries a lot of awkwardness power! I mean hey, some people out there might have a little belly that gives the impression of a pregnancy, but even then some people consider it “too much to ask” for fear of offending the other person.

But c’mon, sometimes you are pretty darn sure that the woman is pregnant. She might even put her hand on her belly, just like the ladies on the image of cool pregnant women on the right of this paragraph. Or maybe she just gives off that maternal vibe by acting super nice and smiling all the time.

“Oh my! Congratulations!”

“Uh, thank you?”

“When is your baby due?”

“Oh no, I’m not pregnant.”

Oops! She wasn’t pregnant. At this point, you might wish for something else to take the attention off of you, but just wishing won’t do very much here. Sorry buddy, you’re on your own. But hey, some women might actually be pregnant and find it extremely nice for someone to notice and congratulate them. It is one of those risks that some people are willing to take. Besides, some people say that life is “all about taking risks”, right? Certain people are natural risk takers, so uh, good for them.

[Thanks maximsmadness]

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