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Awkward Advice: Scared to tell my mom I clogged the toilet.

How to eat a chocolate bar forever

Dear internet searcher, thank you for your question.

I was going to answer the other guy who asked “how to eat a chocolate bar forever” but if I knew how, I wouldn’t tell him because of diabetes. You know how it is.

So anyway, if you are scared to tell your mom that you clogged the toilet, just.. don’t tell her. I guess it’s important to know how exactly you clogged it, because if it was an excessive use of toilet paper, that’s on you. If it was a major deuce that you dropped and it didn’t flush all the way, I’m pretty sure your mom has done so too. I understand its difficult to imagine your mom pooping and clogging the toilet, but even she takes major dumps every once in a while. So here is what you should do if you’re not going to tell her:

1) Look for the little unclogger thing around somewhere, it looks like a lollipop, but upside down, and much larger, about two feet in height.

2) This part is nasty, but stick in the toilet (not the stick part.. the sucky part), and pump that thing like you’re churning butter, lining it up with the hole where the poop disappears to. Up, down, up down. Be careful of back splash (the scientific name for it is poopius splashius) its when poop particles fly in the air along with the water.

3) Lift the unclogger thing, over the toilet, and check out the damage. Did the water level drop? If so, you’re doing the right thing. Is your deuce still there?

Dude, just tell your mom.

Sincerely,

Awkwardlist

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