The 7 Facebook Personality Types
Most of us have a Facebook page. It went from something we used to post on every day and check all the time, to a way to message our friends anytime we were logged in (aka 24 hours a day), to something we just check when we’re bored and keep mostly because we don’t want to lose all of our records of our internet lives.
Of course, with time, Facebookers have developed their own personalities and styles. Here are your Top 7 Facebook Personality Types:
1. The Liker
They added you after some party in college thinking you two were going to hang out sometime, and you never did because, well, that’s how it goes all the time. Maybe you two became Facebook fiends because you got introduced by one of your real friends but didn’t really talk. And you still don’t. You two added each other and never commented on each other’s cat pics or anything. All they do now is “Like”. Every single post, even if it’s “omg! My fart smells like a salmon roll!”
2. The Relative
This is why sometimes you hold back on certain posts or jokes. It’s funny until your aunt or uncle ruins it by commenting on everything. Some of them even add their name at the end as if it were a letter. C’mon people, it’s a comment.
3. The Bragger
The person who is straight up successful. Traveling, making money, going to great parties, trying out the best restaurants.. Or so it seems from their Facebook page. Apparently having all that stuff isn’t enough since they are still starving for Likes. Listen man, you can only post a certain amount of pictures of you on a yacht before your posts only get you one Like. From your Mom.
4. The Activist
Or “Activist”. I mean yeah recycling is good for the earth or whatever but you have to stop sending me invites to your Southeastern African weasel anti extinction protests behind a Petco on a Saturday morning. Keep doing what you’re doing, just calm down. My protest banner says: You’re Annoying!
5. The Heartbroken
Making vague posts about a mystery person referred to as “him” or “her”. Copying and pasting blocks of text from cliche romantic novels and “notes to self” reassuring your self-worth. Listen girl, you’re worth it. We got your message. He doesn’t deserve you, got it. You’re highly desirable, of course. Get back on the horse and get off Facebook. Your friends will feel sorry for you only for your first 29 posts on how movies portray love as a game and how much you’re happy being single.
6. The Feminist
Ah, the feminist. You may have heard about Miley Cyrus, crap about American Eagle or Hollister (or what ever brand that doesn’t like fat people), and on political decisions regarding equality. Yes equality is good… We know. But why so angry? You seem to get pissed off by everything. And you don’t just post one or two lines as a rant! You go all out! You post links to internet articles and 45 minute YouTube videos that nobody watches voluntarily.
7. The Linker
“Click on this!” He said. “It is soooo funny!” He said. This person likes to copy and paste things. They may actually spend their time on a Google searching for “cool Facebook statuses” and claim as his or her own. From links about recent news to videos of two turtles doing it, this person has pasted it: