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151. When your butt itches but you can’t find the moment to scratch

What the heck is an itch?

Do we have any doctor readers here? Sometimes it feels as though the whole experience is mental, and that I can make it go away with the power of my mind. Hey, it works with stomach aches. What weirds me out is how contagious it is.

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Think of this:

Right there, where you are sitting (toilet, cubicle, or bed), imagine the feeling of  walking into a spider web and then a fly buzzing around your ear. All of a sudden, you feel it. Your lower back. There it is.. an itch. You feel it at one point.

You want to scratch.

Don’t do it just yet. Watch what it does.

It is literally crawling. It spreads around, now its climbing up higher, to your left side, then your right. You can’t resist it. Its there.

Its higher now.

Now at two points, and it is getting more intense. Ahh! Scratch scratch scratch!

See?

How the heck does it work?

What sucks is when you get an itch on your butt and you’re out somewhere where you can’t scratch. Yup, there are no walls around, and people are everywhere. You may be visiting your girlfriend’s relatives or during a fancy dinner. You can be waiting in line at Starbucks. Itching badly and nowhere to go.

Or when your hands are full and you can’t scratch?

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How about women in their huge wedding dresses. Ouch. Now that would really suck.

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One solution is to run off to a bathroom and scratch there, since they are usually repeat scratches. Scratching it may cause the itch to continue even longer, but ignoring it intensifies the itch.

So awkward.

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One Comment
  1. Quite awkward. I wonder if Brad Pitt’s butt also itches ( or Angelina’s ).

    June 18, 2013

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