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The Hold-The-Door Radius

138. That awkward, rushed-walk you do when someone holds the door for you because you’re too far

Ding ding ding, you’ve hit a double-awkward moment!

We’re going to discuss something very important today: The Hold-The-Door Radius.

Traditionally, at least here in the United States, human beings are known to hold the doors for each other. It is one of those things that may restore your faith in humanity when you see it. One complete stranger looking back at you, while holding the door with one arm and making sure that his 4-year old doesn’t run away, he smiles and you smile back . You say thank you as you grab the door yourself and make your way into the store. Kindness.

Then we ruin it.

Stores were all like “Kindness? What?” and made these things called Automatic Doors that open on their own. And sometimes they don’t. People can no longer do that. And can the 4-year old kid run away? NO! They make kid-leashes now.

ChildLeashWoman (1)

Yay.

Here’s what’s up with the Hold-The-Door Radius:

  • If you hold the door for someone and they’re too far away, you will end up waiting for him or her. Awkwardly standing there with your arm in an uncomfortable position if you’re holding it from the inside.
  • When someone holds the door for you, you have to walk faster as the holder watches you run for it.
  • As someone tries to exit while you’re holding the door you’re not only NOT helping, you’re in the way of two people. Nice job, dumbohead.
  • They might not say thank you and you’ll end up feeling angry instead of nice, and kind, and beautiful, and grateful, and whatever else happy people say.

The Hold-The-Door Radius:

from funnyjunk.com

from funnyjunk.com

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Poll time!

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5 Comments
  1. Ha! I’m AWFUL about this. I’m always worried the one time I don’t hold the door it’ll slam on an old lady or a frazzled mom holding a kid and pushing a stroller, so I always, always hold it open. This is why it takes me 45 minutes to drop my kid off at school, where holding the door open for one mom turns into holding it open for the 2973234 1/2 people that suddenly show up behind her.

    December 18, 2012
  2. I always look to see if someone is behind me and hold the door open (even if they are in the “awkward zone”). What I find annoying is when people don’t do the same for me when I’m right behind them and the door shuts in my face!

    Hey, congrats on being Freshly Pressed, Edwin! 🙂

    December 18, 2012
  3. I hate this! I’ve started pretending not to see the people behind me if they aren’t in the radius.

    December 29, 2012
    • Hahaha.. great idea. Can’t turn it awkward if you “didn’t notice”

      Thanks Summer!

      December 30, 2012
  4. Simply wanna comment on few general things, The website design is perfect, the articles is very good : D.

    February 7, 2013

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