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The Importance of Wiping

136. Having to wipe off the sweat from the cell phone you just borrowed

“Hey, can I borrow your cell phone real quick? Mine died.”

Cell phones die. It took me a while to start using that phrase mostly because it sounded very.. unfitting. But yes, cell phones “die” all the time. I’ve learned a couple of things about making the battery last longer, and surprisingly, they’re not that difficult to do:

  1. Turn off your wi-fi
  2. Turn off location services
  3. Turn off the back light
  4. Turn off … well just turn off your cell phone. It’ll last longer.

If your phone doesn’t last you all day, you text too much, talk too much, surf the web too much, or are just way too popular. Typically, phones dying are not that big of a problem, unless you suffer from a phone addiction. But then when something comes up and you need to make a phone call, you’re screwed. The only number you may actually have memorized may be your mother’s and your home phone number, and maybe the number for emergency services that we know here as 9-1-1.

When you do have to borrow a cell phone however, and actually have to talk on it instead of send a text, the scenario goes like this:

You’re done with the phone call, and then casually glance at the screen. Oh there it is.. some sweaty, oily, almost-crusty stuff all over it. Was it you? Yes. Should you wipe it off?  Yes! You borrowed the thing, at least return it how you found it. We rarely notice this phenomena now, but we all glance at the phone when we’re handing it back to look at how dirty we got it. Perhaps its a little more noticeable now that phones have huge screens that are nice and glossy when the phone is off and clean. Subconsciously, we notice the nastyness before handing it back and wipe it off. Sometimes we are obvious about it, other times we are stealthy, and others we just don’t give a crap and let the owner deal with it.

I mean seriously, seriously think about it. You are constantly touching your cell phone, COME ON you check your email and send your friends a “What’s up?” while you’re sitting on the toilet! How many times do you actually clean it?

If your answer was, “Well, I clean my cell phone often,” you are lying. Let’s try again.

What? Really? Fine, whatever. I’ll start cleaning my cell phone too.

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3 Comments
  1. I am an avid phone cleaner. I even clean it with clorox wipes. I got this hobby when I watched “glee” I was like that OCD guidance counselor must always be cleaning her phone…
    Also, I think this comment just lead me to what I want that on my epitaph when I check out of this world “constant doodler and avid phone cleaner” it has a nice ring to it.

    October 17, 2012
  2. My phone just died….

    October 17, 2012
  3. Some people have returned my phone without wiping it >.< I do it in their place, instantly. . . I think that is quite an awkward moment for them. . .

    October 19, 2012

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