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High Five or Fist Bump?

20120910-231502.jpg (Credit to the artist)

How do you like to greet people? Hug, handshake, nod, smile, kiss, fist bump, high five..?

Karaoke is Japanese for ‘Empty Orchestra’

135. When someone sucks at karaoke and you’re all embarrassed for them

How many of you like karaoke? Its an interesting thing, don’t you think?

A long time ago, some Japanese dudes were like “Yo, I don’t like the way this dude sings, so I’m gonna sing it instead” and BAM it went around the world and now we sing music while we’re half drunk sitting on the lap of a Santa Claus in a bar in Downtown Los Angeles in July.

Whenever I go to a Filipino home, it is THE thing to do, it is only second in awesomeness to being able to freely eat with our hands.

For those of you new to the concept of karaoke, here is what it is:

1. You go up to the guy

2. You tell him what song you want to sing and he looks it up.

3. Wait your turn and SING for the audience!

Simple, right?

Every once in a while though, someone goes up to the microphone and begins singing a very difficult song –badly. I don’t mean to be mean but sometimes they don’t follow the music, and sometimes they change the melody of it completely. Depending on theĀ inebriation level of the audience, they will either sing with him or her, or clap, cheer and dance! That’s what is so cool about it: there is no downside.

You can go up there and completely fail at singing Disney’s A Whole New World and people would still love you for it.

It does get a little awkward when people embarrass themselves in front of others though. Fortunately there is a way to get rid of the awkwardness, and that is to actually turn to the drunk people and follow their example. That’s right, we cheer them on!

Not awkward.

Happy Monday everyone!



The Longest Joke in the World

Enjoy! Then share your thoughts in the comments section šŸ™‚

(From, check it out there for the column-format version)

The Longest JokeĀ 
in the World
* * *
Lost in the Desert

So, there’s a man crawling through the desert.

He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.

He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out
and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he’d paid attention to the sun and thought he’d figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he’d be back to the small town he’d gotten gas in last.

He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon
how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he’s afraid that he’ll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So,
he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication
later, brings an umbrella he’d had in the back of the SUV with him to give
him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle
in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the
direction he thinks is right.

He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he’s really thirsty. He’sĀ been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He’s reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it’s mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, andĀ whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst.

He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark.

By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he’s been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to theĀ town. But he doesn’t recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn’t remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he’s close, and that after dark he’ll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that’ll be all he needs.

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