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You’re pregnant? Congratulations…?

130. That awkward moment when a woman tells you she’s pregnant and you don’t know if you should say congratulations or not.

The younger generation might be falling apart.

Our songs mention tits and butts and jiggling and wiggling. They mention doing “it” in detail, and include rhythms that encourage movement of the crotch-eal area. There’s a billion other things that might disappoint older people, but whatever! It is our turn to cause some trouble around here.. and no, we won’t bring around mullets again.

A long time ago, whenever a woman announced a pregnancy, it was always followed by a “congratulations!” and lots of excitement. She would call everybody she knew and one could tell the excitement just by the voice. Life was good. And completely different than today.

Lisa: It was about time you picked up your phone, punk!
Ann: It’s 3am, what the *bleep* do you want *bleeep*? Just kidding *bleep* but seriously, whadup?
Lisa: I just found out I’m pregnant.
Ann: What the *bleep* *bleeeeeep* in the *bleeeeeeeeeeep*!? Are you *bleeeep* *bleepity bleep*?

Now imagine if I’m not as close to Lisa as Ann is in the previous example, and Lisa breaks the news to me as follows:

Lisa: So I found out I’m pregnant..
Edwin: Oh wow, congra– … *awkward pause*

I could try to read her facial expression, but she’s reading my reaction too. Sometimes the tone isn’t strong enough for one to be able to tell if the news are good or bad, making it extra awkward. If I don’t seem excited, and Lisa is.. then I just look like a jerk. And if I seem all happy and she’s angry/sad/concerned then I just make things worse. Just flip a coin, I guess. Oh, its tails. Here we go:

Edwin: –tulations! When did you find out?
Lisa: Congratulations? This isn’t good! My life is ruined. He’s gonna dump me and I’ll have to raise the child alone!
Edwin: Ahem. Well are you sure? I mean, are you sure you’re uhh..

And it just gets worse after that.

 

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9 Comments
  1. This makes me think of that movie “2 Weeks Notice” with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. If you have never seen it, Hugh Grant thinks this woman is pregnant and she’s not… that is also really, really bad to do!

    I just ask people before I say congratulations, how it feels… and then you have your answer whether to congratulate or not…

    August 21, 2012
    • Now why didn’t I think of that!? Thanks Lauren!

      August 23, 2012
  2. You know what’s awkward, too? When this happens to someone who has a phobia of pregnant women. . . o_O

    August 21, 2012
    • There’s such a thing?!

      August 23, 2012
      • Obviously, yeah. . .

        August 23, 2012
  3. Fortunately, I’ve never been in that sticky a situation. You really can’t tell what the other person is feeling! Really is awkward.

    Do you have some kind of “Lead An Awkward Life, Read This Awkward Book” book? ‘Cause you always nail it when it comes to awkwardness! And yeah, I know I need to work on my giving-a-name-to-it skills.

    August 22, 2012
    • Well thank you, Meghna! 🙂

      Lead An Awkward Life: A guide to harmonious living. <–lol that doesn't even make sense hahaha! I'm so tired right now. I like your title better.

      August 23, 2012
      • Haha! Not bad!
        You’re welcome. 🙂

        August 25, 2012

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  1. How (NOT) to Offend a Pregnant Lady « Polite and (paranoid)

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