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129. Sneaking into the restroom when you’re not a customer

You’re driving down the road, finishing up your Slurpee from 7-Eleven. The cherry-flavored one. It’s been very hot  lately, and you’re constantly drinking water and iced teas.. so you’re bound to have to pee a lot.

I know I do.

But when you have to pee really bad and you’re out on a road trip, or in a city a long distance away from yours, you can’t just go knock some stranger’s door and expect them to let you use their bathroom. Unless you’re in Canada (I’m guessing). What is your other option? Stop at a fast food restaurant! They’re everywhere and they have restrooms. But some places are huge lame-os and put a sign somewhere extremely visible that says:


You might not care about the sign, and walk in like its your own house. Your Tweets might look something like this:

But if you’re not like that crazy dude, you might deal with the awkwardness differently by sneaking in through the side, pretending that you’re going to order AFTER you pee, or pretending that you came in with someone else.

Restaurants get sneaky on us, and sometimes they do a pretty good job:

  • They post a huge sign in front of your face as you walk in.
  • They put the meanest employee to be in charge of the key to the restroom.
  • Once you get the key, you have to walk around with an embarrassing keychain on it, the most embarrassing one for me? A plunger. I am not making this up, it was at a gas station on my way to Arizona.
  • They have to buzz you in as if you were entering some VIP area.
  • They place the bathroom past the cash registers so you’re forced to walk right in front of them.
  • They have coin operated doorknobs. Really?!

We should be able to pee freely without being forced to buy a drink (because then we’d have to pee again).

Other Awkward Posts:

  1. lol, you know I have never had an issue with it being customer only. I mean that I haven’t seen that before. You inspired a post. Maybe for tomorrow. 😀 ((Hugs)) you’re my new favorite person.

    I do like your blog. I hope you take the time to come visit mine 🙂

    August 15, 2012
    • Hey! Thank you! (super late, I’m sorry)

      Did you end up writing a post? hehe. Thanks for taking the time to read this ‘ole thing, and of course I’ll go visit yours!


      August 23, 2012
  2. This is so awkward. They always make it so you have to walk past the cashiers to get to the restroom. No more sneaking in/out. It’s really bad when there’s no customers and all the workers stare at you as you pass by desperately trying to avoid eye contact. It makes it so fucking awkward that I usually wind up buying a damn soda on my way out. And I never want the soda.

    August 16, 2012
  3. I do this a lot but it’s never a problem. Worse comes to worse, buy a coke.

    August 16, 2012
  4. I never do that…well, only at MacDonalds. 😐

    August 16, 2012
  5. In Europe we had to pay at least a dollar… ,75 Euro

    August 17, 2012
    • To use a restroom? Oh wow. In Mexico, we had to buy the toilet paper from a lady with a table outside the restrooms at a bus station. That was awkward.

      August 23, 2012
  6. Babydoll #

    I did this last week at some fancy Asian restaurant with a friend! We drank way too much iced tea and we stopped at the closest place. Everyone was dressed fancy and there were only two families eating(I don’t know if it was a party or something) so my friend and I waltzed right in, as if we knew the place and went straight to the restroom. Oh, all the looks we got! lol

    February 14, 2013

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