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109. Unintentionally sexual stuff

It is not that immature..

During lecture, our professor was explaining an engineering problem:

“So the tube can slide freely along the rod, therefore there is no force exerted on the z-axis.. do you guys understand? It’s like..”

*This is the part when he made a circle with his thumb and index finger, and started sticking the dry-erase marker in and out of it.*

   “It can flow freely because there is no friction. Can you guys see this in the back?”

*In and out.. in and out, over and over again.*

We were all thinking it.. so we did what we had to do: we avoided making eye contact with each other in order to keep ourselves from laughing.

There are so many things out there that sound and look extremely sexual, but in order to act all grown up and mature, we avoid mentioning them. How many times has your teacher drawn out something that looks a lot like a penis? Or have you ever let out a moan or a grunt that sounds a bit sexual? I was reading an article on Huffington Post about the “Funniest Unintentionally-Sexual Books of All Time”, which shows pictures of book covers with some titles that one can easily question if they were meant to sound that way, and it shows what I’m talking about.

Some words have a different meaning now than they did a while back, I’m sure you can think of some (like the word “gay”), but there is one name that has  become both a proper noun and a common noun.. and a weird one at that –the name “Dick”.

I want to research HOW that name could have become another word for penis (along with the other word for rooster), but I’m afraid of what I’ll find if I Google such a thing. The book Moby Dick STILL gets some giggles! How come? I’m a little ashamed of the following, but I’ll say it anyway.. a couple of friends and I were introduced to a man named Dick a while ago, and here’s how the conversation went:

“Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Dick,” he said.

*We looked at each other. Followed by an awkward pause*

  • “Um, hi Dick.. I’m Richard, this is Edwin and that’s Mark,” Richard replied.

“Hey! You’re a Dick too, that is great!” Dick replied, referring to the fact that his own name was also Richard, but he went by Dick.

“Heyy.. you ARE a Dick!” Mark said to Richard, referring to something completely different (another word for jerk).

..and it just got more uncomfortable..

In the end, Dick did not catch any of those other meanings to the word/name, and I felt a little bad for not explaining it to him.. but maybe I would’ve just made things worse.

Super awkward.

More Awkward:

  1. Did the professor realize the sexual interpretation of his illustration, or was he oblivious. If he was oblivious, it makes it funnier. I was a college professor and had I realized what I was doing, I would have made a joke of it. Something like, “Well, this is a concept most of you will probably remember for the test!”

    February 23, 2012
  2. Oh no…your poor professor. He probably had no idea what he was doing! Haha!

    Also, I checked out that list on HuffPo and I can’t BELIEVE some of those books!! How did they not see “Still Stripping” as a potential problem?? Haha!

    February 23, 2012
  3. Hahahaha the humiliation of it all! I had a homely little math teacher in high school. She was terribly shy and so modest I remember thinking she was trying to be flirty one day when she wore a skirt one inch ABOVE her ankle. She had the most uncomfortable way of making simple triangles and equations sound completely dirty without ever realizing it. I never could look her in the eye.

    February 23, 2012
  4. chunter #

    As safe as your imagination allows:

    February 23, 2012
    • LOL! That is just too funny! It really did look like mommy was a stripper.. hahahahahah

      February 23, 2012
    • Hahahahaha!

      February 29, 2012
  5. phoebemunson #

    Genius! I have to admit, awkward unintentionally sexual conversations are one of my favourite things to overhear on the train

    February 26, 2012
  6. I just can’t believe the professor had no idea, but some people set themselves up for disaster…great story! That was my laugh of the day, for sure!

    February 26, 2012
  7. This is hilarious ! As late as 2 years ago ( I’m now 21 ), I didn’t know gloves = condom. So I was posting on this one forum…. the topic was premarital sex. The poster above me wrote, no gloves, no lovin’, or something like that. ( She was a friend, by the way ). I responded with, ” Isn’t that too much of a precaution ? Don’t you want to touch with your own hands ? ” My post was the last entry.

    February 28, 2012
    • Hi again! 🙂

      This has got to be the most hilarious thing I’ve heard all week! HAHAHA! Well hey, you should be proud of your innocent mind! Proud (and embarrassed)! Just kidding 😛

      Ah! I love it.


      February 29, 2012
  8. Hahaha! Too funny! I found this list of unfortunate town names the other day and thought you’d get a kick out of them. Some of them I feel so sorry for the residents who live there lol

    April 27, 2012
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