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107. Awkward search terms that lead people to your blog

Attention all bloggers!
Do you get a kick out of the awkward search terms as much as I do? One of the cool things about WordPress is that you get to see what people entered in a search engine to get to your blog right on the same page as your stats, which, of course, you, um.. rarely check. Ahem. Anyway, sometimes they’re relevant. If you write book reviews you might see book titles, author’s names on that list; words like “glue” or “scissors” might come up if you like to post about arts and crafts (OK, they might be a little more elaborate than that). But sometimes you get weird stuff. As you might have guessed, many people find this blog through awkward search terms. For the longest time, one of the most popular searches was “Cute Poop”. 

Eventually I figured out what caused all this commotion. It was this image of a poop finding comfort in the thought that maybe its a potato (credits to the artist). It was funny when I found the thing somewhere around the internet.. now I’m wondering what the heck I would’ve entered into Google Images in order to get that. Maybe someone else read their search terms and wondered who would ever search for poop.

After going through my list of awkward search terms and realizing what a great contribution this blog is making to the internet, I decided to copy a part of it for your viewing pleasure. Check out this piece:

I touched someones “behind”- Whoa, sounds more like a confession to me. Eh, at least I’m not the only one that uses Google as a therapist. These are tough times, my friends.

How you feel when you see someone not washing their hands- Good one! This one is already listed on the AwkwardList, but this is the kind of “relevant” stuff I was referring to earlier. Way to go anonymous dude!

Movie sex scenes 13- This type of search was leading people to my blog after a post on sex scenes and how awkward they are when they show up. Why must directors insist on showing boobs or guy’s butts in movies? I’m sure these searchers were quite disappointed when they clicked on it and found no sex scenes. My apologies.

What to do when choking on a drink when laughing- Try not to die!

A handshake whilst urinating- Uhh.. a handshake whilst urinating. Like, literally shaking hands while peeing? Uh..

Person walking into a website- I’d like to find out how someone could do that.. A person walking into a website. Don’t you wish we could do that sometimes? Visiting someone’s site would be ACTUALLY visiting their site.

I can’t say I don’t deserve it, many things on here are, well, awkward. I’m not complaining, I enjoy reading those things every once in a while, don’t you? At any rate, I let out some very private stuff during this post, so now it is YOUR turn! If we get enough of these, a special post will be published on what you guys come up with. Let’s do this!

What are some of the strangest, most awkward search terms leading to your blog?

Image (top)

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31 Comments
  1. TBM #

    LOL…good stuff.

    February 15, 2012
    • 🙂 Thanks!

      February 15, 2012
  2. Matthew #

    Well, since you asked, my best one is “wide open vigina”. And yes, that is how it was spelled.

    I apologize.

    February 15, 2012
    • Whoa! I’m not even going to ask. LOL 😀

      Thanks for the comment!

      Edwin

      February 15, 2012
  3. Reblogged this on Gealachs Blogg and commented:
    Kul inlägg om märkliga söktermer som får folk att landa på ens blogg. Jag har inte varit med om några riktigt skumma saker, de flesta söktermer som dyker upp i WordPress statistik har något att göra med saker som jag faktiskt skrivit om.

    February 15, 2012
  4. I’ve done a series of posts about this very thing. If you are interested, here’s the link to my most recent: http://lornasvoice.wordpress.com/2012/02/04/dear-divine-ms-l-4th-edition/

    February 15, 2012
    • Will check it out right now! Thanks 🙂

      February 15, 2012
  5. I pity the fool that does not wash his dishes (this was because I entitled one of my posts “I Pity The Fool)

    Love this post 🙂

    February 15, 2012
    • Thank you! :]

      Shame on the dude that didn’t wash his dishes..! Haha

      Edwin

      February 15, 2012
  6. chunter #

    I get a few that make me scratch my head like “how to pronounce ryong” but most of my search terms request answers to questions that my posts… don’t answer, or even talk about, because the search hits were based on song titles or lyric content.

    February 15, 2012
    • Hmm.. how DO you pronounce ryong? haha

      February 18, 2012
  7. I get “how to talk to stripers” a lot. Even though my tag is clearly “how NOT to talk to strippers.” Also, I don’t know what a “striper” is. In fact, I’ve received more hits from people looking to hit on their “stripers” than “strippers.” Which is just weird.

    February 15, 2012
    • Haha people trying to talk to strippers..

      February 18, 2012
  8. Lol! Good one! I don’t remember if I ever had any awkward search, as the most popular search term that lead to my blog is eventually “Optimus Prime.” Oh dear.

    February 15, 2012
    • Optimus Prime?! Awesome! Why? haha

      February 18, 2012
      • Lol. I made a movie review of Transformers 3 once, and of course, most of it was dedicated to Optimus Prime, hahaha. Oh well, I’m a huge fan of Prime :p

        February 18, 2012
  9. Ohhhh yes! I wrote about this a few times but for some reason people always come to me by searching “Luna Lovegood Nude.” Luna Lovegood, in case you’re not a Harry Potter nerd, is a character from the HP series, why anyone would want to see her nude – WHO KNOWS. I also have no idea how people came to my blog via that term..and in tons of different languages! Sooo weird!

    http://oneawkwardyear.wordpress.com/2011/06/29/one-awkward-nude/

    Your list is too funny. So much bathroom stuff haha. Love it.

    February 16, 2012
    • Hey you’re right.. why do I have so much bathroom stuff…? Hahahah

      Thanks for the comment!

      Edwin

      February 18, 2012
  10. I just have to say that this is about my favourite post that you’ve done! LOVE reading people’s crazy search terms!

    One of the more popular ones for me is “Mr T” – I assume it’s ’cause we have the same hairstyle.

    Hilarious, as usual, Edwin!! 🙂

    February 16, 2012
    • Thank you 🙂

      Same hairstyle as Mr T ! LOL

      February 18, 2012
  11. ‘My cootchie is green.’

    ‘Accidental incest with my mother.’

    ‘Naked pictures of my father.’

    I could go on, but it only gets worse from there.

    I did a whole series of posts at the beginning of the year that were the titles of classic porn films. I’m sure I’m not helping myself in the search engine department, but it sure did give my blog a boost. 🙂

    February 16, 2012
    • There must be a lot of people out there searching for this sort of stuff haha. Great technique to boost page hits though..

      “Naked pictures of my father”!? WHAT

      February 18, 2012
  12. I have nominated your blog for an award. You can find out the details here: http://narcissistsblog.wordpress.com/2012/02/16/liebster-blog-award-revisited/

    Congratulations!

    February 16, 2012
    • WOO HOO! Thanks!!!!!!!! 😀 😀

      February 18, 2012
  13. Edwin- Your list is hilarious and I can only imagine what brings people to your blog!!!

    February 16, 2012
    • Oh yes, I kinda asked for it.. i know. haha

      Thank you!

      February 18, 2012
  14. Join my blog and comment..same will be done from my side /

    March 3, 2012
  15. So funny, I actually wrote a post about this a few weeks ago too!

    http://theothercourtney.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/he-invited-me-to-his-hot-tub/

    It is amazing what people type into Google…and amazing that it can lead to your blog sometimes?! Cute poop…REALLY??? Hysterical.

    March 4, 2012
  16. I ended up here by searching how to do this very thing! I can’t find the stats page (I’m a newbie–my blog is self-hosted wp with thesis theme. If you can advise me, I’d be grateful! Your post is hilarious!

    June 4, 2012
    • Hi!

      Thank you 🙂 and I’m not too familiar with self hosted wp, but it might be a plugin you need to add. If you’re connected on Facebook, I’ll send you a link to our little blogging group on there, everyones pretty helpful.

      Thanks for stopping by.. Welcome to blogging! 🙂

      Edwin

      June 4, 2012

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