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83. When someone talks to you while you’re pooping

“Uh, I’m a little busy right now.. “

I used to live in a house with three other guys, and only one bathroom. The mornings were hectic at first, having to wait for the bathroom, but eventually we figured out our pooping and shower schedules and it was smooth sailing after that. Well, with one exception.

I woke up to take a shower earlier than usual, because I had a test to take later in the day and had to meet with a study buddy to review some final things. The water was nice and warm, the smell of shampoo danced with the steam in perfect harmony when suddenly I heard a voice loud and clear. I was so surprised by it, that I paid no attention to the content.

“What was that?”

“I said, I really have to take a crap.. like seriously.”

“Oh, alright go ahead. Just warn me before you flush.”

I had forgotten that I don’t lock the bathroom door when I’m in there because I always think to myself: what if there IS a murderer behind the shower curtains and stabs me? (I’m sure you check too..), and one of my roommates had gone inside asking to use the bathroom while I was taking a shower.

“So you have a test today?”


And the conversation continued. .

“Heads up, I’m flushing!”

“Alright, go.”

I didn’t think it was that bad at the time, but looking back at the situation made me realize how awkward it was. Well bathroom experiences can be awkward in general:

Talking through the door while you’re using the bathroom can be pretty uncomfortable, but sometimes it is necessary. If you run out of toilet paper, yelling out for someone to bring you some might be a good option. The thing is, sometimes other important things come up, and people have no option but to communicate while one of the two (or in rare situations, BOTH of them) are sitting on a toilet taking care of business.

Those text messages that your friend might randomly send you might come when she is bored and looking through her phone while sitting on the toilet. Some people can’t stay away from their phones and check Twitter, Facebook, email, WordPress, Tumblr, text messages, check voice mails. . . phew! I forgot how many things people can actually do on their smartphones nowadays. Beep! Text message:

“Hey, what r u doing?”

You’re sitting on the toilet, but you don’t want to let them know. So instead you say,

“Nm, u?” and that is risky business, my friend. You might get a phone call.

[Thanks Dahiana from Facebook]

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  1. eeeew!

    August 25, 2011
  2. Some people are very gun shy and can’t talk and don’t even want someone to acknowledge what they’re doing in the bathroom. Even in long-term relationships.

    As for the shower ‘n sh*t thing…..I guess if it’s an emergency I would have let the person in, obviously, but I would be more grossed out than anything else. The conversation itself wouldn’t make me awkward, I’d just be very aware that there was a thin shower curtain separating me from the person on the toilet and I take issue with steam + the smell that comes from that particular activity.

    I’ve said too much.

    August 25, 2011
  3. Wow.

    August 25, 2011
  4. 😛

    August 31, 2011

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