80. When the alarm beeps as you’re leaving a store
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Stop it, you’re making a scene!
Every once in a while, I see somebody head toward the exit of a clothing store at the mall, to be scared by the loud beeps of an alarm that tells the whole world:
“Hey, y’all! Do you see this woman right here? Yeah that one! I think she stole something!”
I see her standing there, with a confused expression, looking around to see where the security guard is coming from to handcuff her and take her to jail for theft. Yes, I know security guards don’t do that, but let us imagine it. Funny, right?
Imagine two women casually leaving an expensive clothing store when the thing starts beeping. They look confused. And then they look at each other wondering if the other stole something; perhaps even wondering if one slipped something into the other woman’s purse. How dare she? They look down at their bags and then look around for someone to come by to check them. But nobody arrives. So they just stand there. Until they realize that if they go back in, it will beep again so instead they just leave. Oh, expensive retailers.. But if that were to happen at a Walmart, the Walmart police would go straight to the scene to check your receipt and look through your items.
Sometimes those machines are wrong! I used to have a textbook that I carried everywhere with me to read as often as possible (in coffee shops, toilet stalls, etc.) and it would beep upon entering a shop, and then again when I was leaving. I had my bag searched quite often. Soon enough, I found it a little funny. I even made a couple of friends carry the book for me so it would beep on them and embarrass the heck out of them. Eventually, I got to page 348 in the book, and there it was. . . an awesome magnetic beeping sticker; the cause of all this.
And no, I didn’t remove it.