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79. Choking on your drink

A sudden noise disrupts the quietness of the office. Its loud and it gave absolutely no warning. The coughing gets louder and louder, and the victim is struggling. What do you do? It can happen anywhere: at a party, at work, at home, while jogging, and even while driving. It can sometimes be very dangerous. But more importantly, it is awkward. The situation gets even more awkward if accompanied by several factors.

1.) People Are Still Laughing– The blame usually goes to that ONE person that made you laugh so hard that you started to choke on your Sprite. If you look carefully, you’ll see their facial expression start off with a “Oh man this is so hilarious! I even made you choke!” laughter and then slowly begin to quiet down and be replaced by that slightly worried look after all of the evil stares they have received from other people for laughing while someone’s choking. That’s just wrong.

2.) Finding A Place To Put Your Drink Down- After possibly spilling some expensive 7-dollar beer, you want to be able to find some place to put it down. However, this becomes difficult since you’re probably still letting the coughing shake your arm around. Sometimes you find that awesome friend that holds it while you finish coughing. That’s awesome, considering you might be having a hard time looking for a good spot, which brings me to the next item:

3.) Teary Eyes- A side effect of choking for certain people. When people are trying to choke in silence, you can sometimes spot them by a “I just pooped my pants” look combined with TEARY EYES. Look for the eyes, people. Look for the eyes.

4.) Making A Scene- People staring at you, and wondering what is up with you can be quite an awkward experience. So its best to try to not make a scene. Even though you interrupted the moment. And ended the conversation. And made the group laughter stop —yes, you made a scene. Nobody wants to be “That Guy”, right?

5.) The “Are You O.K.?” Guy- You always have that ONE person that can watch another fall off a two story building and still approach them with that very question. “No, darn it! I just fell off a building!” When they ask you if you are “O.K.” while choking on your drink, how the heck are you supposed to answer when you are having trouble breathing? Jeez. . .

In your opinion, which one of these is the most awkward to deal with?

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  1. It’s also awkward for the person that has to tap your back. How hard is too hard?

    August 18, 2011
    • Yes, its awkward for that person! Sigh.. You know you’re tapping too hard when they stop breathing. Haha

      Its all fun and games until someone goes unconscious..

      August 18, 2011
  2. I LAUGHED OUT LOUD at this one (though my ass remains attached). It’s the teary eyes that kill me. And the “are you okay” guy. I am both of those, often, and I feel shame. Love it!

    August 18, 2011
  3. TBM #

    This happens to me a lot. I hate when someone asks are you OK. I can’t breath and I’m embarrassed.

    August 18, 2011
  4. Choking is so awkward in general. That’s why people die. They’re so incredibly embarrassed, they leave the table to deal with the lodged Kung Pao chicken in the bathroom only to never get it unlodged.

    This is the first post on your blog I’ve read, I don’t know if you’ve done anything yet on the tickle one can sometimes get nearing the end of cold. You know that tickle that leads to full-on coughing fits that seem to only be quelled by a fire extinguisher down the throat. That stuff is awkward, especially when teaching a class of merciless third-graders.

    August 18, 2011
    • A fire extinguisher HAHA. Yes, that is definitely awkward. I’m writing it down, thanks!

      August 22, 2011
  5. Sorta like when you are the movies and that popcorn thing gets stuck in your throat and you try to quietly clear your throat. Never works and no matter how much you drink and cough that thing stays stuck until the movie is over and you leave the theater then it magically disappears.

    August 18, 2011
    • That popcorn thing! I know exactly what you’re talking about! Ugh, it sucks!

      August 22, 2011
  6. chunter #

    A friend of mine almost gave me the Heimlich once…

    I like the “feature” links 😉

    Best wishes

    August 18, 2011
    • Thanks! lol

      Oh man, that Heimlich maneuver thing is awkward on its own..

      August 22, 2011
  7. I hate how everyone stares at you and everyone feels awkward. I know once this happened to me during a lesson in class. Everything is silent except for the teacher and my coughing. I couldn’t even ask to leave for a drink because I was coughing so hard. I just ended up leaving the room… to come back with a wet face from the water fountain squirting in it. 😐

    August 18, 2011
    • Yeah, I’ve had that happen to me also.. it sucks..

      August 22, 2011
  8. Ever choke on your own saliva while you were talking? Like you were just in the middle of saying something, when you inhale too hard and it goes down the wrong pipe THEN start choking? It’s awkward because once you come to you have to explain what the heck you were choking on.

    August 18, 2011
    • YES! A spontaneous choking during speech! Definitely awkward!!!!

      August 22, 2011
  9. choking is embarassing…period

    August 19, 2011
  10. Dian Wijayanti #

    Ohmy, this is truly embarrassing! I’ve been in a worse one. Got choked and burst out the mineral water I just drink. And no one was actually trying to make me laugh. It just… happened. And man, I was so embarrassed. After that? People were laughing, and I don’t know what to do but tlaugh with them while trying to dry myself with tissue. Arrrgghhh, completely awkward. :-/

    August 19, 2011
  11. Hahaha!! Oh yes, this is a terrible moment, indeed! For me, I think the most awkward part of the whole situation when it happens to me is trying to find a place to put my drink down. I mean, you’re all choking and stuff, and yet you still can’t stop laughing, and somehow in the midst of that chaos, you’re supposed to set down your drink! You usually have to get up and walk across the room to find a place, which will inevitably ruin the hilarious moment to the point where you all just kinda look at each other and aren’t sure what to say next.

    So awkward.

    August 19, 2011
    • You are very right.. then it gets funny again. Hahahahaha 🙂

      August 22, 2011
  12. Did it blow out your nose? i hate it when it blows out your nose mid coughing fit! I love it c

    August 19, 2011
    • I didn’t know it was possible to have stuff come out your noise but I finally experienced it.. very VERY unpleasant.

      August 22, 2011
  13. I have this friend who once was drinking water and she suddenly threw it all up on ME!! We had a good laugh! :/
    I remember coughing loudly, in fits, during my Maths class. I had choked up on water. I had to finally excuse myself and exit the classroom to escape all those eyes burning into my back! Awkward.
    And to answer your question, I think making a scene is the most awkward.

    August 20, 2011
    • On YOU? Duuuude!

      Hey, good way of putting it. “Eyes burning into my back” 🙂


      August 22, 2011
      • Thank you.

        Hey by the way, how about the awkward moment when your bluff is caught? Thought I’d suggest. 🙂

        August 23, 2011
  14. I agree that the embarrassing thing is having watery eyes after a choking spill. (I laughed at the “I pooped my pants” facial expression remark, too.)

    August 22, 2011
  15. It makes my day to read your posts!!
    Thanks for always making me smile and chock on my drink..LOL

    August 22, 2011
  16. This actually reminded me of a time when I spit tapioca on Flo at a Pho resturant. It was really bad and it even got in his hair. I felt bad but I couldn’t help but cough and it flew on him. Literally FLEW!

    August 25, 2011
  17. The #5 are you okay guy makes it worse for the reason you ariticulately said. Nice post.

    August 25, 2011

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