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69. Getting “The Sex Talk” from your parents

Oh yeah. You know, when your parents first talk to you about intercourse?

I could just end this post now but I won’t, even though there isn’t much else to say about this situation. We will make this educational. You hear a lot about the birds and the bees, but what the heck does it mean anyway? Well, they use birds (since they lay eggs) to explain ovulation and other stuff that I don’t want to go into detail about. The bees pretty much explain how pollen gets deposited into flowers.

I’m curious to know how your talk went. I know that some parents just skip that part and let school, friends, or television take care of it (and I understand why! Since giving the talkΒ can probably be as awkward as listening to it).

Did you parents come in all awkwardly into your room and asked if you had a minute to talk, and then you found out?

Were you surprised?

Did you have to pretend like you didn’t know anything about sex?

No worries, a lot of us went through the same thing, feel free to share. Here is how mine happened:

I came in one day and told my parents that I heard the guys in the locker room talk about the vagina. I really wanted to get that talk out of the way, I was already in sixth grade and everybody knew by that time. They both looked at each other and sat down on the couch, and they explained to me how sex works. Then, I had to go through it with each of them individually to get “both perspectives” of it. Talk about uncomfortable.. but then it was over and we never talked about it again. I still get uncomfortable when I’m with my parents and a sex scene comes up on television though. .

Image source

  1. Parents know about sex? Who knew…

    August 1, 2011
  2. chunter #

    I have a feeling that if I ever have to give “the talk,” it will look like that comic, and to an extent, I am okay with that.

    It’s very hard to explain something that is literally different for everybody aside from the basic nuts and bolts, but ask a doctor, even those aren’t quite the same in every person.

    The versions of “the talk” my father has given me were usually incidental and occasionally in the middle of working (though never in public.) They were not prompted by any particular events, in fact, I think he started the talk because in certain ways I am both a late bloomer and early bloomer at the same time. It is even difficult for me to explain the latter part of that last sentence without getting too personal.

    My mother’s versions of “the talk” were definitely prompted, and almost always at home.

    I say “versions” in the plural for both of them because the nuts-and-bolts version of the talk my dad gave was made slightly irrelevant by public school sex ed, including stuff like this:

    So there were multiple instances where they wanted to share opinions and talk about other aspects, the details of which are a bit more meaningful (to me) than the physiological side of sex, anyway. Sadly, at the time I didn’t always find the talks meaningful.

    In truth, though, I didn’t really learn about sex until I lived so far away from both my parents that I didn’t really want to ask their opinion, and since so much time has gone by, now that I am engaged to be married, they don’t seem to have much to say about it, which I slightly regret and recognize is my own fault.

    Best wishes

    August 1, 2011
    • That video is awesome haha! Strong Kids, Safe Kids! Pedoman! Creative stuff, indeed.

      And yeah, you bring up good points, the talk always has the same purpose but gets expressed differently, and parents usually always try to make the talk as meaningful as possible. Though I’m not quite sure what a parent is really expecting from their child after “The Talk”, I mean would a person really say something like “Wow mom! Thanks for this, I’ve learned a lot!”? I think it would be more like “Oh..” I know I just wanted it to be over as soon as it started, haha.

      Congratulations on the engagement by the way, I’m happy for you!


      August 2, 2011
  3. Oh I didn’t get it yet. Generally here, they do it after the person gets engaged to be married or something. My mom broached the subject with my sister before she got married with a very pained look on her face. My sis told her its okay she already knew and my mom apparently looked very relieved. I hope she takes that as a lesson and doesn’t even try with me. πŸ˜›

    August 2, 2011
    • That’s interesting! I’m sure your mom found out how uncomfortable talking about that stuff can be, haha. Let’s just hope she learned from that, like you said πŸ™‚

      August 2, 2011
  4. My mother sat me and my siblings down with an anatomy book and showed us pictures from the book of naked men and women. My brothers were laughing and my mom said, “If you aren’t mature enough to hear this, then you should leave.” I wish I had left with them. It was very uncomfortable, and I get super uncomfortable watching sexy scenes with my parents.

    I think it was worse at school, though. In eighth grade, our health teacher told us these scaring stories about STDs. It was awful. Then I got made fun of for saying that I wanted to be a virgin. Who wouldn’t after all that?

    Of course, my mom scared the crap out of us talking about AIDS, “The HIV virus is so small that it can travel through the material of a condom. It’s like a mouse walking through an opening the size of an elephant. Condoms will not keep you from getting AIDS.” *shudder*

    August 2, 2011
    • Wow! That sounds intense.

      Seems like your talk was pretty straightforward, that’s kind of good. And I agree with it being worse at school, I still remember having to go pee REALLY before he even started talking about it and when I asked for permission to go, everyone thought that I just didn’t want to hear about it (which was also true) and teased me for a while.

      They did a good job on scaring me about it too, though. Haha

      August 2, 2011
  5. Optimus the Ninja #

    Thank God I never got “the sex talk” from my parents. My mother loves making speeches, I’m pretty sure she would’ve gone on and on despite how obviously awkward the situation.

    August 2, 2011
    • How were you able to avoid such a thing!? Share the secret! Hahaha

      August 2, 2011
  6. Dian Wijayanti #

    How the hell did my parents find out about sex anyway!? I’ve been keeping it a secret! Hahahaha. I think my parents kinda skipped it. Phew!

    August 3, 2011
  7. Liya #

    I love how this is number “69”… clever πŸ™‚

    August 3, 2011
  8. I love how you call it “the vagina”. I don’t ever remember getting “the talk” from my parents. My parents were very open and told us as it came up…like this is what you call this part, this is how babies are made. Your body is special, sex is natural but for when you’re grown up, etc. etc. I find it interesting how some friend’s of mine don’t think their kids are ready for the “talk”. If you have kids, I think these things come up early on and are very natural to discuss. It seems to me that it’s better for kids to know this before they hit puberty so they know what is happening to them and they have less shame about their feelings and the changes in their bodies. Then as they get older they know it and it’s not that awkward for them. I had to throw that word in there somewhere. πŸ™‚

    August 4, 2011
    • Hahaha the vagina.. yeah.

      That’s a good idea actually, to inform kids before they hit puberty makes sense. I remember freaking out and feeling embarrassed for all of the physical changes.. especially the voice. And hair. How can you tell when a kid is ready? A friend’s little brother told me that he saw a dog dancing on top of another dog, and asked me why they were doing that. . is he ready? hahaha I don’t like lying to children!

      August 4, 2011
      • chunter #

        I suppose you have to feel that kind of thing out…

        I sang with a huge range and tons of projection before puberty lowered my voice, a process that didn’t complete until I was in college! My voice is now very soft, and I still imagine my “old” voice when I compose sometimes, but I remind myself, change the key, simplify the melody….

        August 5, 2011
      • Well I read a really good article about this topic when my son was a baby and I have gone with their idea. The idea is that the child will only ask what they are ready to hear. For example, if my son asked why the dog is dancing on top of another dog I would answer that it’s not dancing…it is either mating or showing dominance. Then if he asks what either of them mean…for example if he asks what mating means I would say it’s how dogs make a baby. If he asks more specifics, I answer them, but only what he specifically asked. It has worked very well with my kids. I use it with most thing, sex, death, etc. But if a friend’s little brother asked me what the two dogs were doing, I’m not sure I’d answer that. It depends on how well I knew the family. I would probably tell them to ask their parents because not all parents want their kids to know those things…I’m not sure why, but it’s not my place to tell their kids if they don’t want them to know, you know? So that’s how we’ve done it and it’s worked out very well.

        August 9, 2011
        • That is a very smart way to handle this situation. Answer things that they specifically ask. It lets you know how much they want to know! You’ll know that your words won’t go to waste since you’re only answering what they’ve asked you.

          I learned a new idea today, thanks!


          August 9, 2011
  9. ilove.erin #

    …my parents just let sex ed teach me all I need to know. Haha, so no awkwardness for me…I suppose.
    PS I like how this one is 69…or is that just my dirty mind..?

    August 12, 2011
  10. Aria #

    im surprised no one commented on this being post #69

    October 15, 2011
  11. Ryme #

    Jeez, I remember it too clearly. I was eight, and asked my mum how babies were made. So she sat me down, and talked about ‘doofers’ and ‘special cuddles’. *Cringe*

    January 6, 2012

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