59. When automatic doors don’t open automatically
A lot of things happen at Walmart. Today, I went in there with one goal in mind: To find a lint roller. You know, one of those things that you roll around your clothes to get rid of the lint? Yeah, one of those.
Well anyway, I went up to the door that said “Exit” hoping that it would let me in even though it was meant for people to get out. And it didn’t. So I went up to the door that was labeled “Enter” and it didn’t open. So I backed up, and pretended like I was normally approaching the door once again, thinking that maybe the door sensor might be aiming a little further away. The door wouldn’t move.
So I stood there, checked the time. Yup, the store was open. I jumped up and down, and waved at the little black box on top of the door. I pushed a button that was up there, I touched the door (hey, I don’t know! I’m new to this town. It might be all hi-tech.).
I even said please and the darn thing wouldn’t even respond. I could see people inside playing around with the vending machines, minding their own business. I even saw the old lady the checks the receipts glance over and turn away again. But then, an old man approached the door. I would’ve been mad it if it opened for him and not for me but no luck. It didn’t open.
“Damn door!” he said, and hit the crack between the two sliding doors, “Technology my butt!”
. . and it opened. Awesome! He walked in, and we both went our separate ways.
And as for my lint roller, after half an hour of asking around and going from the pharmacy area, to the grocery department, to the health and beauty section, I finally found a nice lady who told me to use my tongue to get rid of the lint.
I think she was serious.