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45. Getting a call while sitting on the toilet

A lot of things can be considered unacceptable nowadays: Farting while on a formal dinner, stealing from an old lady, and multitasking if one of those tasks includes urinating.

One that our technological society is still refusing to accept is answering a call while you’re sitting on the toilet. Pay attention everybody, cell phones were created to tie us down and force us to be at the disposal of the others at all times. How many times has your cell phone rang while it is inconvenient to answer? What do you do? That’s easy. You silence it, or just ignore it and enjoy your ringtone. Some of us though, are a bit different; maybe the word I’m looking for is more “polite” or “nicer”.

I feel bad when I don’t answer a phone call. So many people send a text instead nowadays, that a call is like “Whoa! Someone is actually calling me!” I bet some people out there wish for a phone that would just text and not include a voice plan.

Back to our feature presentation:

Suppose you are relaxing on the toilet (.. err or um, what ever you call it), and your phone starts to ring. Oh wow, it is the call you have been waiting for! Yes! They are calling you back to offer you an interview to work at their company. Oh wait, you’re busy.

Perhaps it is a bit painful to just watch a call go to waste if you’re not actually busy, you’re just waiting to finish pooping. I don’t know how intense these sessions might get for some of you, but typically there isn’t much action; there is just a lot of waiting involved. So while you’re awkwardly sitting there just looking at your phone play your favorite John Mayer song, the person on the other line is waiting for something too: for you to answer!

This can be a bit more awkward in public restrooms, and even more so when your ringtone is just plain embarrassing and it scares the comrades on the surrounding bathroom stalls.

What ever you decide to do in such a situation, take into consideration that many people tend to imagine what the other person is doing when they call them. If I call someone and I hear a lot of wind in the background, I imagine that they are in a car. Or horseback riding. If you hear a lot of people talking [party], if the person is screaming at you [at a concert], if you hear somewhat of an echo [in the bathroom. . . or in a cave].

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17 Comments
  1. I typically answer the phone while I am pooping. I don’t answer the phone while peeing, but I will pee while on the phone with someone. You only need one hand so why not? Just have to be careful the other person hearing the splatter.

    June 15, 2011
    • Yeah! You know what to do!

      You could also gain some skill with the mute button on your cell phone to ensure that the other person hears only what you want them to hear.. haha!

      Thanks for reading!

      Edwin

      June 15, 2011
  2. There are two people that I will answer the phone while in the potty…my husband and my best friend of 16 years. But I have also gotten calls of importance…dr, school, etc…and I don’t feel right to answer…and thank goodness they did invent the mute button. :0)

    June 16, 2011
  3. Omigosh, people take and make phone calls in the office restroom all the time, and it drives me nuts. Really, that call couldn’t wait? It’s all well and good that the person choosing to take the call is OK with sharing this private time with their caller, but, um, the rest of us might not be quite so okay with it. And their caller may not be thrilled either.

    Good heavens, if it’s not life-or-death, just say no to bathroom calls.

    June 16, 2011
  4. I have no comment other than your blog is hilarious! Definitely subscribing!

    June 16, 2011
    • Thank you! 🙂

      June 19, 2011
  5. Pete Ley #

    It’s so embarrassing having your phone go off while sitting in a public restroom — I always remember to put it on silent.

    June 16, 2011
  6. “[B]ut typically there isn’t much action; there is just a lot of waiting involved.” I hate to suggest that you might be doing something wrong; especially given how intensely personal said action is, but if you’re waiting that long, something might be wrong.

    Awesome post otherwise though. I’m really enjoying the idea behind this blog.

    June 16, 2011
    • Uh oh. Haha you might be right.

      Thanks for reading!

      June 19, 2011
  7. Jessica #

    Oh man, never thought this would come up ever on the internet! Times like that I wish I had voice mail. When it does, I just ignore it.. I let it ring and ring and ring. I usually call them back and make up a lie if they’re asking.. if a big company called.. chances are I would probably let it go and call back in a few minutes or so. I don’t know how anyone can actually answer an important phone call on the toilet!

    June 16, 2011
  8. You could also be polite and answer the call and just say that unfortunately you have some pressing business to attend to but will call back shortly….

    June 17, 2011
  9. I have to subscribe! Your blog is so realistic! I love it!
    The last line “if you hear somewhat of an echo [in the bathroom. . . *or in a cave*].” is really amusing!

    June 17, 2011
  10. Btw, how about the awkward moment when somebody sneezes out real loud? Especially during a seminar or meeting? And to top it all, he/she doesn’t cover his/her mouth, getting it *all* out!!
    I just thought I’d suggest! 🙂

    June 18, 2011
    • Sneezing! I like it! Thanks!

      June 19, 2011
  11. You’re so welcome!

    June 20, 2011
  12. Potential employers often assume the person they’re calling has a pen and a piece of paper ready or that you’re at least smart enough to scramble for them once you realize what kind of a call you’ve answered. I very carelessly once answered a job offer coming from a strange number in the bathroom, but it turned out just fine since I pretended to write the interview time down, actually remembered it three minutes later and didn’t get the job anyway.

    August 26, 2011

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  1. 83. When someone talks to you while you’re pooping | Awkward List

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