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42. Hearing someone say “I’m not invited.”

Have you ever been so excited to go to a party, that you ask around to see who else is going? The excitement goes away pretty darn fast when you hear “No, I’m not going because I’m not invited.” The situation turns awkward.

And . . . action!

Some people say “well that sucks, I’m sorry” and walk away. This typically comes out sounding a little mean, but as you will find out (if you keep reading) that this is the least awkward response to such a statement.

Others start by asking questions. “Oh my god, why?” Well obviously the reason why is something that the person does not want to discuss. It is the thing that everybody is wondering but should be left unmentioned. You ask “why” and you will get an awkward “I don’t know . . ” with a sad expression. Sometimes it is worse: they might actually tell you why and that would completely ruin the party mood and you might even end up being considered a traitor for going to a party hosted by such a jerk.

Every once in a while, you might hear a tale about someone who heard such a statement and responded with “aww.. well don’t worry about it, you’re going. As my guest.” There is some reasoning behind it, even though I don’t quite understand the whole thing. You are setting yourself up for trouble by doing that, even though the deed will not likely be forgotten by the person that wasn’t invited. But yeah, other than that its just a bunch of potential trouble.

How would you react to such a situation?


  1. I usually just reply with an awkward “oh….” then change the subject after a short awkward silence…. I don’t have a very good plan :/

    June 11, 2011
    • Oh mann! that feeling is the worst huh!? When you’re forced to change the subject.. hahaha

      June 12, 2011
  2. When I was a kid, my mother knew very well that I had a group of 6 good friends, and yet I was limited to 5 at every birthday party. Sometimes it’s just as awkward on the other end.

    June 16, 2011
  3. This blog made me laugh a lot, it always happens. In fact, just last week I managed to ask a friend of mine what time would they be arriving to the party, to which they bluntly stated they hadn’t known about it. I figured i’d pass it off as being “probably crap anyway” and presumed she hadn’t even minded. Her “i hate feeling replaced and lonely” tweets a few hours later clearly suggested otherwise.

    check out my blog if you have the chance (it’s new, but it’s a working progress) :

    June 16, 2011
  4. Anonymous #

    I haven’t been in this situation but I’ve seen it happen so I wouldn’t ask anyone. It’s also awkard if you’re the one being asked but have to explain that you won’t be going. So! I do have escape solution suggestions for both situations: This may vary depending on how well you know the person. If you’re the one asking and they say they weren’t invited, just say “Ah” and change the subject, no choice really, you can chat a couple minutes too about something funny. You can also say “Too bad, it won’t be as fun without you”, “Crash it anyway!!” or slyly say “Yeah me neither, just wondering” haha jk…Although, that might actually work. And if you’re the one not invited, don’t feel bad, act cool and just say “Not sure yet” as there is a possibility you simply weren’t asked yet as that was the case with me once but also just to keep it personal if you think there was an embarrassing reason (got in a fight with the party thrower) in that case say “Nah, gonna do something else”. But anyway it’s okay, you didn’t expect the person would answer so depressingly haha

    January 19, 2013

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