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19. When people around you start arguing

Just a couple of seconds ago here at the coffee shop, a woman and a man started arguing and left the shop. Another woman from across my table and I looked at each other as the couple began to argue, and put us in a tough situation; we had to act like nothing was happening.

But something was happening! These people looked like trouble the second they walked in, so we saw it coming. What were we supposed to do? Walk out? Speak up? It has happened to me many times before, and I always have the same reaction no matter what: I freeze.

The Coffee Shop (cont.)-ย They looked like business people, a very tall (and intimidating) couple. The woman ordered her coffee, and had a little angry reaction with the barista; that’s when my freeze procedure started. I was reading along the pages of my book, when I noticed my eyes were fixed on one particular line of the book as my hearing senses took over my sight ones. The man behind her ordered and then it started. They were no longer distracted by a barista or by the menu. They were forced to wait for their drinks together and something was bound to happen. The woman turned around and said “You know what this is about! Why are you asking?”. The man responded and it was on! They casually looked at me a couple of times. Eventually they left. As soon as the door shut close, the shop people started talking to each other about it and laughing, and started asking us about it and apologized.

Friend’s House- While hanging out with one of my friends at his house, his dad asked him to take out the trash. The mom quickly snapped at the dad to tell him that he had a guest over (me) and that my friend could take out the trash later. The dad responded with a grunt and said something back. That’s all it took to start arguing. They hit very important topics such as:

  • Why taking out the trash is important
  • When a child must learn to be responsible
  • How embarrassing it is to argue in front of guests
  • That they were making me feel uncomfortable

Your Friends- When you’re in a group of friends and you must witness an argument between them, things get very uncomfortable. Sometimes its best to stay out of it, but since you’re friends, there is a certain type of obligation to mediate or at least do something to help them out. My solution is to listen to both sides of the story but not side with either of them, ever. Though I’m not typically involved with dramatic people, there have been cases where two or more begin attacking one. That’s uncool, man.

So next time you begin to argue with someone, whether it be over a woman or over who got the last slice of pizza, make sure to acknowledge that other people are listening and how they’re feeling. And be aware that they might post it on their blog.

  1. Edwin –

    I don’t know man. When someone takes my last slice of pizza, well those are fighting words. You should see how irate I get when someone tries to take my last chicken wing, hahaha!

    It’s usually a good decision to remain neutral in those situations unless you’re advice or mediation is requested. ๐Ÿ™‚

    May 2, 2011
    • Agreed! But I was once in a big mess with three people (all women) who wanted me to “mediate”. I ran away ๐Ÿ™‚

      Charlie- No one messes with my last slice either, I guess that example was taking it a bit too far.. my apologies hahaha!

      May 3, 2011
  2. well said!!!!!

    May 2, 2011
  3. Haha, I loved this post! Truly an awkward situation, and I do NOT handle awkward situations well. In fact, my natural response is nervous giggling, and people tend to take that the wrong way…


    May 9, 2011
    • You have a cool natural response then! Laughing is nice at least ๐Ÿ™‚ Some people start blushing and sweating uncontrollably.. which can add to the awkwardness haha.

      Thanks for reading, Vanessa!


      May 9, 2011
  4. Well, you have to realize some families don’t consider that arguing. It’s a natural way of debating…like Irish families? Sometimes brothers even end up duking it out… if you mention that it’s wrong or awkward, they look at you like “what’s your problem…what do you mean?” The subject is long gone and they are quickly approaching a new subject to disagree on…

    My best friend and her sister had screaming matches. In highschool, and hormones…they hated each other. Couldn’t last 10 minutes in a room without making snide comments, etc. My friend installed a lock on her bedroom door, the sister broke that lock and broke into her room and stole a new shirt of hers. It was reality tv before reality television shows existed!

    Lake Forest, CA

    May 9, 2011

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