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#15 When food falls before reaching your mouth

You finally get to scoop up a large piece of delicious chicken. It has been specially cooked for you, just how you like it. You can smell it, and steam is still making its way up toward the heavens as it begins to approach your mouth. When suddenly…

It drops.

It is common from people from different cultures explain this rare phenomenon. One of the ones that I have actually started to believe says that when your food falls off your spoon it means that somebody, somewhere in the world, is craving the food you are about to eat.

So THEY’RE the cause of this!?

Ugh.

All anger set aside, the result can be pretty uncomfortable. It might fall on your plate, and you might give it a second shot. At this point, however, please be aware that it might fall a second time and you  know that saying (slightly modified for specific purposes):

“If you drop once, shame on you (food), if you drop twice, shame on me.”

But what if it falls on the table? If anybody watched you fail at eating, they suddenly might become judges. Will you pick up with your hand and eat it? Will you try to get it from the table with your fork? Will you put it back on your plate? Leave it there? Offer it to someone else? No one will be happy with your final decision, or they might just be happy with any of them because they just don’t care. They have their food, you have yours. Right?

Though I don’t specialize in techniques for eating, I can tell you how to settle this situation when it happens (because after all, I do specialize in awkward):

1) Whatever you decide to do with the food that fell off, do it instantly and have no regrets.

2) If someone at your table laughs at your misfortune, laugh about it. If you’re too angry to laugh, make up a story of why your food fell and tell them as though you actually believe it. Blame others if you have to.

3) If you do drop it on the table, a quick swipe of your napkin settles it (unless you’re a firm believer in the 5-second rule, where you have five seconds to pick up your food and eat it . . . follow your beliefs, I don’t discriminate.)

Remember: the food is yours.

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5 Comments
  1. This post was great! I like the story that somebody else wants it. This post made me smile.

    April 26, 2011
    • Haha yeah, people and their stories.. I’m glad you liked it!

      Thanks for stopping by bethea, diggin’ the gravatar pictures by the way 🙂

      Edwin

      April 28, 2011
  2. I used to immediately toss whatever dropped to the floor. However, with kids- everything ends up on the floor during some point of EACH meal and EACH snack.

    Being laid off from work, we are limited on funds. So now, unless it’s dropped on dog poo, I tell the kids to pick it up and if it’s not dirty or have hair, it’s good…or I might rinse off in the sink and then give to them.

    Sounds awful, but my kids basically drop every other bite onto the table, their lap, the floor…we’d have no food and they’d be starving…and the starving person eats out of a trash can…SO, lesser of two evils.

    Besides, we’re building their immunity! Seriously! It’s all based upon the scenario you’re in at that moment. If people are watching, sometimes, I’ll toss.

    Then there are the $12.00 beers at a concert, that when you spill a drop, you will seriously consider licking the ground where approximately $5.00 worth of beer just spilled! (ha!) 🙂

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com

    April 26, 2011
  3. You were laid off? =/ dang it.. that really sucks.

    Funny, I feel like my immune system gets better whenever I do something like eat something off the floor (yes, i do that. ok i said it).

    it IS based on the scenario! i remember a tear almost came out when i bought an ice cream for a friend and she dropped it. we were at disneyland.

    April 28, 2011
  4. Nice post (Y)
    Even the comments were a treat to read.. 😀

    August 11, 2011

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