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#9 Farts

Even the word sounds awkward.

Fart.

I was studying at the university library one day, and I was in a hurry because I was behind on my work, and I needed to go to the post office before it closed. I was at a table by a huge window, and couches next to me. On one of the couches, I could see a backpack leaning on it with a young man with his legs and arms crossed. He must’ve been napping. After some frustration, I took off my earphones and just stared at my paper for about a minute (it happens all the time) when my frustration got interrupted.

I heard a loud fart coming from the couch next to me. The guy tried to jump up and fell off the couch with a loud thump. Not only that, but he also spilled his water in the bottle and looked in my direction by using the couch as a shield and slowly creeping upwards to see the rest of us looking at him. He turned bright red. His own fart woke him up and scared him. How embarrassing.

The girl I was sharing the table with looked at me, and that’s what did it. I couldn’t help it. I tried really hard not to laugh, my attempts sounded like a mix between a cough and a sneeze combined with baby noises. Yeah, imagine that.

Of course, there are many different situations in which this could be more uncomfortable.

from moonbattery.com

Imagine you’re in a car with only one passenger and then suddenly an unpleasant smell begins to surround the air inside the vehicle. Obviously, one of the two people in the car must have farted, but what is more interesting is that the person that didn’t fart knows he or she didn’t. And the person that farted knows he or she farted. You both know.

Awkward?

Or what if you decide to roll down the window a little in your car and suddenly a smell begins to penetrate your car. The other person might think that you had planned to air out the car after you farted. There’s no way of proving that you didn’t fart.

Of course, it is pretty hilarious to think about farts. Especially when they put you in uncomfortable situations, like when:

1) The old man waiting in front of you in line lets one rip.

2) When babies fart, and they find it funny.

3) When dogs fart.

People have been farting since the beginning of time, why haven’t we gotten used to it? I guess the thought of gas going from the colon to someone else’s lungs is a bit unpleasant to think about.

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9 Comments
  1. ohanabee #

    dude, i love your topics. their my kind of fun :)) poop and farts aaaaah priceless!!! i can not keep a straight face if I fart. although i try not to do it in public, oopsie if there is no one in sight then i’m gonna rip a mean one =))and my face expression is kinda of like “Who dropped their guts?”btw, this is one of my favorite jokes: What is the sharpest thing in the world?
    A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn’t even leave a hole.
    also:
    What’s the definition of bravery?
    A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

    What happened to the blind skunk?
    He fell in love with a fart.

    What do you get if you eat beans and onions?
    Tear Gas.

    You’re so poor:
    You had to fart in your pocket to make a scent.

    Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

    April 19, 2011
  2. ohanabee #

    sorry typo *they’re

    April 19, 2011
  3. ohanabee :

    dude, i can not keep a straight face if I fart. although i try not to do it in public, oopsie if there is no one in sight then i’m gonna rip a mean one =))and my face expression is kinda of like “Who dropped their guts?”

    Hahaha!! I love the jokes. Beans and onions.. tear gas! That one made me laugh out loud. I was looking for an old beeper (haha remember those?) commercial on youtube, and I finally found it! I think you might enjoy it.

    April 19, 2011
  4. ohanabee #

    dude, that is a classic!!! I laugh every time i see it

    April 19, 2011
  5. I’m so immature, this made me laugh out loud!!!!!

    April 21, 2011
    • Hahaha! Being immature is awesome. Thanks for visiting! 🙂

      April 21, 2011
  6. Optimus the Ninja #

    I love it when the person tries recreate the fart sound by moving a chair, for example. When they fail, it makes it so much more awkward and hilarious!

    July 25, 2011

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